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About Varied / Professional Member SchizmaticMale/United States Recent Activity
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Quantum Sleep by schizmatic
Quantum Sleep
Warning: Skipping past TV commercials and snoozing through a mandatory high-pressure sales presentation are NOT seen as equally okay.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/quantum_s… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/754

Schizmatic: A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness - Store - Archive
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Open Secret Society by schizmatic
Open Secret Society
The Dress meme is a weirdly-lit photo of a dress whose color seems to vary depending on the person looking at it. Neuroscience explains it as a result of our different visual systems interpreting the chromatic bias of the daylight axis, but it's clearly actually a massive global conspiracy perpetrated by the Illuminati via Starbucks lattes and Diet Pepsi contaminated with Satanic gluten thetans to mutate us into mindless robotic consumers distracted with endless digital trivia while they secretly rule the whole entire world.

I wonder if they're currently accepting applications...

Image: schizmatic.com/files/open_secr… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/753

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Peace And Long Life by schizmatic
Peace And Long Life
With their famous nerve pinches, Vulcans give THE most relaxing neck and shoulder massages.

Thank you for visiting our planet, Mr. Nimoy. Our civilization is the better for it.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/peace_and… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/752

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The Nazi Nazi by schizmatic
The Nazi Nazi
"But if you have to use analogies, don't say 'Obama is Hitler and there all Nazis,' say 'Obama is Hitler and THEY'RE all Nazis.' Show some respect to proper grammar, asshole!"

"But if you have to use analogies, don't say 'Obama is Hitler and there all Nazis,' say 'Obama is Hitler and THEY'RE all Nazis.' Show some respect to proper grammar, asshole!"

Shirt versions of this strip: www.zazzle.com/the_nazi_nazi_m… (Men's) and www.zazzle.com/the_nazi_nazi_w… (Women's)

Image: schizmatic.com/files/the_nazi_… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/751

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Over-Emojional by schizmatic
Over-Emojional
"Four-legged octopus, metallic cylinder with the number '109', squirrel wearing a fedora and trench coat, and pyramid of rice balls on a wooden altar in a moonlit field! DUHHHHHHHH!!"

Confusing, but I do totally believe that robot martian black cat furries will signal the end of the world.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/over-emoj… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/750

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So, I've been spamtastically posting five strips a day to catch up with a backlog I had, and to avoid potential weirdness like people wondering why I'm still doing comic strips about the Olympics at the end of September:

"Wow, did he just get around to watching it on his DVR?  It must've been tough avoiding all the Michael Phelps spoilers everywhere..."

But now I can slow it down to posting a strip a day, and eventually settle in to four a week.  Though, I have to admit, speed-watching the Olympics on DVR fast-forward does sound pretty interesting: the marathon would become a long-distance sprint, and the 100-meter dash a race of superheroes.

Still, even in normal speed, Usain Bolt might be able to give the Flash a run for his money.

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schizmatic
Schizmatic
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
Schizmatic is a webcomic of intelligent weirdness based on blueprint schematics applied to actual life. It puts the cosmos under a microscope, and reality under analysis -- goodness knows it needs it.
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:iconvera00eikon:
Vera00Eikon Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! Hug 
Reply
:iconrazgriz-3:
Razgriz-3 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015
Honestly, I'm surprised your page hasn't seen more traffic - your comics are sharp as hell.
Reply
:iconkid-lea:
Kid-Lea Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015
Thank you for the watch
Reply
:iconrecycledhorrors:
RecycledHorrors Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the tremendous support, I really appreciate it.
Reply
:iconscoundrel47:
Scoundrel47 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  New member
Thank you for the watch. It's most appreciated. I need all the watchers I can get. I'm a Leo! ;-)
Reply
:iconninefiftin:
Ninefiftin Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks a lot for the watch :)
Reply
:iconmoonbladethebook:
moonbladethebook Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Student General Artist
THANKS FOR THE WATCH!!! :icongwompplz:
(you really didn't need to ^^')
Reply
:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Professional General Artist
You're most welcome! :highfive: remake 
Reply
:iconlonizarte:
Lonizarte Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014
Another great day to see schematics from Schizmatic.

Good day.
Reply
:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank you muchly!
Reply
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