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About Varied / Professional Member SchizmaticMale/United States Recent Activity
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The Family That Slays Together by schizmatic
The Family That Slays Together
I'm guessing that limbs, hands, and feet are like stems, leaves, and roots to zombies, since they really prefer to eat our sweet, fatty, fruity brains.

So I'll bet zombie kids look at our arms and legs like human kids look at celery and asparagus. And kale hands? Nasty.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/the_famil… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/712

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No-Thanks-giving by schizmatic
No-Thanks-giving
White Male: "Would you like to try my sweet potatoes?"
Black Female: "F*ck you, racist rapist."

Image: schizmatic.com/files/no-thanks… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/711

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Hunger Games by schizmatic
Hunger Games
Kids sometimes have a problem distinguishing between parents and zombies. Both are undead, relentlessly tormenting monsters, but there is one big difference: zombies never make you eat your vegetables.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/hunger_ga… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/710

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Slurred Speech #5 by schizmatic
Slurred Speech #5
At Lucky Panda Happy Endings, the background music is just non-stop gongs. And the mariachi band at The Sleepy Sombrero plays nothing but "La Cucaracha." And at Chikin 'n' Chitlinz, the waiters sing old Negro spirituals and tap dance on your table while you dine.

Yes, it's a little distracting, but nothing compared to the mock slave auction during dessert.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/slurred_s… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/709

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Fighting Dirty by schizmatic
Fighting Dirty
Oil Exec: "WE'RE EATING FREE-RANGE CHICKEN AND ORGANIC APPLES?! YOU'RE TRYING TO MURDER ME -- WITH NATURE!!"

Image: schizmatic.com/files/fighting_… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/708

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So, I've been spamtastically posting five strips a day to catch up with a backlog I had, and to avoid potential weirdness like people wondering why I'm still doing comic strips about the Olympics at the end of September:

"Wow, did he just get around to watching it on his DVR?  It must've been tough avoiding all the Michael Phelps spoilers everywhere..."

But now I can slow it down to posting a strip a day, and eventually settle in to four a week.  Though, I have to admit, speed-watching the Olympics on DVR fast-forward does sound pretty interesting: the marathon would become a long-distance sprint, and the 100-meter dash a race of superheroes.

Still, even in normal speed, Usain Bolt might be able to give the Flash a run for his money.

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schizmatic
Schizmatic
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
Schizmatic is a webcomic of intelligent weirdness based on blueprint schematics applied to actual life. It puts the cosmos under a microscope, and reality under analysis -- goodness knows it needs it.
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:iconskull-killer:
Skull-Killer Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch
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:iconsexytemp666:
SexyTemp666 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014
Thanks for the watch!;)
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:iconp00bear:
p00bear Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Student General Artist
You have been tagged! =D xD
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:iconerin-g:
Erin-G Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the Watch, and thanks for the compliment; the Doctor just so happens to be my favorite as well. xD
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:icontherantsofreason:
TheRantsofReason Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you kindly for the donation and yes i shall reasonably rant on good sir
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:iconp00bear:
p00bear Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Student General Artist
Happy B-Day.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank you, p00!
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:iconp00bear:
p00bear Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Student General Artist
XD
I definitely should change my name. Lol.
You can make one for Winne-the-Pooh. XD
Reply
:icon7demented:
7Demented Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
A happy birthday to you, sir/madam! :dummy:
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Professional General Artist
TYVM madam/rabbit! =XD
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