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About Varied / Professional SchizmaticMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
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Nothing Personal Assistants :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 12 21 Get Help :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 10 21 Survival Of The Fitness #4 :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 9 19 Anus Horribilis :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 8 28 May The Peace Be With You :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 17 29 Pandora's Xbox :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 11 31 Factastic :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 13 19 Arboreal Profiling :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 13 24 Going Rogue :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 12 19 Young Skywalker :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 10 22 Jesus Versus Yoda :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 13 21 The Ancient Geeks: Epimenides :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 20 27 Live And Let Diet #2 :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 10 25 The Body Politic Snatchers :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 8 25 To Breed Or Not To Breed :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 10 43 Cardiopulmonary Resurrection :iconschizmatic:schizmatic 17 18

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Armen Station :icongoeliath:goeliath 57 19 Preparing The Siege Dogs :iconerictonarts:EricTonArts 19 12 Before the Exodus :iconerictonarts:EricTonArts 31 15 Exodus :iconerictonarts:EricTonArts 105 34 Contract :iconklaufir:Klaufir 326 6 Gold Polish Fall :iconapiapicka:ApiApicka 9 15 Solitary Relay :icongoeliath:goeliath 52 28 Tower OCT Ref: Sir Englitch Ficklebottom :icongoeliath:goeliath 54 77 A Safe Place - Re-visited :iconjjcanvas:JJcanvas 4,586 88 dream land :iconfeislandqueen:FEislandqueen 5 4 Industrial Abstract X :iconerictonarts:EricTonArts 18 13 MASTERING IN CHAOS :icontheseusparadox12:theseusparadox12 45 16 Mirage. The Rustle of Moon :iconyanadhyana:yanadhyana 281 6 Overlook :icongoeliath:goeliath 36 20 Am I doing it right? :iconthereptiliangeneral:TheReptilianGeneral 3 4 Sunset on Psychetropica :iconerictonarts:EricTonArts 27 12

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Nothing Personal Assistants
This is why I can only respect an artificial intelligence that's actually smart enough to make fun of me -- as I smash it into a million pieces in mindless primate rage.

Image: schemantics.com/files/nothing_… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1043

Schemantics: A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness - Store - Archive
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Get Help
It's just selfish to not share live video of someone in a wheelchair tumbling endlessly down an up escalator. What is WRONG with you??

Image: schemantics.com/files/get_help… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1042

Schemantics: A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness - Store - Archive
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Survival Of The Fitness #4
My favorite historical exercise machine is the Gymnasticon, which was like the first stationary bicycle. Its name comes from the Greek roots "gymnos" meaning "naked," + "nasti" meaning "nasty," + "con", meaning "You just spent $300 on a machine you're only going to use once, then stuff in the basement storage room. Self-delusional dumb-ass."

Image: schemantics.com/files/survival… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1041

Schemantics: A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness - Store - Archive
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Anus Horribilis
"ANNUS horribilis" is a Latin phrase meaning "horrible year." And I hope Baby New Year 2017 won't be a cryer. Or a screamer. Or a pisser. Or a puker. Or a pooper. And ESPECIALLY not a bleeder. We won't have a moment's peace on Earth.

Image: schemantics.com/files/anus_hor… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1040

Schemantics: A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness - Store - Archive
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May The Peace Be With You
The Empire is a tyrannical regime hell-bent on galactic domination, but it still respects family. It's like the Mafia, but with plasma blasters.

Image: schemantics.com/files/may_the_… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1039

Schemantics: A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness - Store - Archive
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So, I've been spamtastically posting five strips a day to catch up with a backlog I had, and to avoid potential weirdness like people wondering why I'm still doing comic strips about the Olympics at the end of September:

"Wow, did he just get around to watching it on his DVR?  It must've been tough avoiding all the Michael Phelps spoilers everywhere..."

But now I can slow it down to posting a strip a day, and eventually settle in to four a week.  Though, I have to admit, speed-watching the Olympics on DVR fast-forward does sound pretty interesting: the marathon would become a long-distance sprint, and the 100-meter dash a race of superheroes.

Still, even in normal speed, Usain Bolt might be able to give the Flash a run for his money.

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schizmatic
Schizmatic
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
Schizmatic is a webcomic of intelligent weirdness based on blueprint schematics applied to actual life. It puts the cosmos under a microscope, and reality under analysis -- goodness knows it needs it.
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:iconemerald4713:
Emerald4713 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2017  Student Writer
Hey, where'd you go? It's been a while!
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:iconeventyrprinsesse:
Eventyrprinsesse Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2016
hi
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:iconfizz18:
fizz18 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love your page! ^^
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:iconyokeldayankee:
Yokeldayankee Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2016
Thanks for watching dude!
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:iconfizz18:
fizz18 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
NAGATEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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:iconfeislandqueen:
FEislandqueen Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the watch.:-):-):-)
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:iconskulli-exe:
Skulli-exe Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Holy shit, your humor is so clever xD
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
That's cuz I'm full of crap. X)
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:iconskulli-exe:
Skulli-exe Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG XD
And thank you for the watch, by the way!! <3
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:iconthewritingwz:
TheWritingWZ Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh. My. God. I totally forgot to thank you for the watch!
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