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About Varied / Professional Member SchizmaticMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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Frankenstein's Monster by schizmatic
Frankenstein's Monster
"Caution: When taking multiple erectile dysfunction medications at the same time, if your erection lasts longer than four days and/or attains raging demonic sentience, call your Dr. Frankenstein."

Image: schizmatic.com/files/frankenst… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/700

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Plagued by schizmatic
Plagued
According to the Bible, the Pharaoh of Egypt actually wanted to free the Israelites from bondage after the fourth plague, but the Lord "hardened Pharaoh's heart" so he changed his mind, then unleashed the remaining six deadly plagues upon the people.

Apparently, the real plague back then was sadistically insecure, power-tripping tyrants with god complexes. Or in today's terms, Hollywood executives.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/plagued.j… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/699

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Little Monsters by schizmatic
Little Monsters
The public outcry against Sesame Street was enormous, and got even worse when the show expanded its programming to little zombies and vampires.

But little Cookie Monster's behavior is absolutely abominable: it should be "I love face cake," not "ME love face cake." Sesame Street seriously needs to advance from teaching the alphabet to ravenous monsters, to teaching proper grammar.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/little_mo… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/698

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Dangerous Diet by schizmatic
Dangerous Diet
"I don't care if they're sustainably grown, wild-caught, free-range humans! A principle is a PRINCIPLE!!"

Image: schizmatic.com/files/dangerous… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/697

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Technophobia by schizmatic
Technophobia
Luddism might have been a plausible political philosophy back in the 1800s, but now it's just suicidally silly. I mean, do Luddites really think people are going to give up their iPads, iWaffleMakers, iSushiRollers, iShoelaceTie-ers and iNostrilHairCurlerTrimmerStylers?

There's just no going back now.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/technopho… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/696

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So, I've been spamtastically posting five strips a day to catch up with a backlog I had, and to avoid potential weirdness like people wondering why I'm still doing comic strips about the Olympics at the end of September:

"Wow, did he just get around to watching it on his DVR?  It must've been tough avoiding all the Michael Phelps spoilers everywhere..."

But now I can slow it down to posting a strip a day, and eventually settle in to four a week.  Though, I have to admit, speed-watching the Olympics on DVR fast-forward does sound pretty interesting: the marathon would become a long-distance sprint, and the 100-meter dash a race of superheroes.

Still, even in normal speed, Usain Bolt might be able to give the Flash a run for his money.

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schizmatic
Schizmatic
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
Schizmatic is a webcomic of intelligent weirdness based on blueprint schematics applied to actual life. It puts the cosmos under a microscope, and reality under analysis -- goodness knows it needs it.
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:iconskull-killer:
Skull-Killer Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch
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:iconsexytemp666:
SexyTemp666 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014
Thanks for the watch!;)
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:iconp00bear:
p00bear Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Student General Artist
You have been tagged! =D xD
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:iconerin-g:
Erin-G Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the Watch, and thanks for the compliment; the Doctor just so happens to be my favorite as well. xD
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:icontherantsofreason:
TheRantsofReason Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you kindly for the donation and yes i shall reasonably rant on good sir
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:iconp00bear:
p00bear Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Student General Artist
Happy B-Day.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank you, p00!
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:iconp00bear:
p00bear Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Student General Artist
XD
I definitely should change my name. Lol.
You can make one for Winne-the-Pooh. XD
Reply
:icon7demented:
7Demented Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
A happy birthday to you, sir/madam! :dummy:
Reply
:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner May 10, 2014  Professional General Artist
TYVM madam/rabbit! =XD
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