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About Varied / Professional Member SchizmaticMale/United States Recent Activity
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You Might Be A Geek #10 by schizmatic
You Might Be A Geek #10
Fortunately, if your dragon sets your house on fire, you can easily put it out with the pee contained in the average toddler's bladder. Those things are BOTTOMLESS.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/you_might… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/765

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Physiography by schizmatic
Physiography
Massachusetts is America's nose, New York is America's mouth, the "philtrum" is that little groove between your nose and your upper lip, and the "frenulum of prepuce" is just too dirty for words.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/physiogra… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/764

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Timeless by schizmatic
Timeless
Never underestimate the invincible human will -- to do some stuff.

There are theories that the building of pyramid-shaped structures by ancient peoples around the world is proof that some extraterrestrial intelligence must have inspired them all. But the simpler explanation is that a big heaping pile is the simplest, tallest structure that humans can build -- or poop.

Inspiration can come from the STRANGEST places.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/timeless.… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/763

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Wizards Vs. Witches by schizmatic
Wizards Vs. Witches
I flunked my compulsory Comparative Socio-Cultural Psycho-Political Aesthetic Linguistics class in college because for the final exam question, "Give an example of a historical oxymoron", I put "Social Sciences."

Witches have ZERO sense of humor.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/wizards_v… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/762

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The Birds And The Bees by schizmatic
The Birds And The Bees
My father gave me terrifying nightmares and traumatic psychological scarring with his conservative repression regarding sexual education. And worst of all, I had to retake Biology TWICE.

"Science Is Sexy" shirt versions: ow.ly/KzyJk (Men's)  ow.ly/KzyKA (Women's)

Image: schizmatic.com/files/the_birds… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/761

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So, I've been spamtastically posting five strips a day to catch up with a backlog I had, and to avoid potential weirdness like people wondering why I'm still doing comic strips about the Olympics at the end of September:

"Wow, did he just get around to watching it on his DVR?  It must've been tough avoiding all the Michael Phelps spoilers everywhere..."

But now I can slow it down to posting a strip a day, and eventually settle in to four a week.  Though, I have to admit, speed-watching the Olympics on DVR fast-forward does sound pretty interesting: the marathon would become a long-distance sprint, and the 100-meter dash a race of superheroes.

Still, even in normal speed, Usain Bolt might be able to give the Flash a run for his money.

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schizmatic
Schizmatic
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
Schizmatic is a webcomic of intelligent weirdness based on blueprint schematics applied to actual life. It puts the cosmos under a microscope, and reality under analysis -- goodness knows it needs it.
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:icondlebedkin1993:
Dlebedkin1993 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I appreciate your attention, may I add you to my friendlist?
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2015  Professional General Artist
Absolutely. New friends are always welcome!
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:icondlebedkin1993:
Dlebedkin1993 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Glad to hear this, dear comrade)
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:iconbenmonster2000:
BENmonster2000 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the watch and favs!
Pleased 
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:iconmasterploxy:
MasterPloxy Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
You are so Blue, Light Blue in fact.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Professional General Artist
Blue is bluetiful. X)
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:iconmasterploxy:
MasterPloxy Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
It Blue my Mind XD
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Professional General Artist
That pun was terriblue -- ok, that one was way worse. X)
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(1 Reply)
:iconvera00eikon:
Vera00Eikon Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! Hug 
Reply
:iconrazgriz-3:
Razgriz-3 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015
Honestly, I'm surprised your page hasn't seen more traffic - your comics are sharp as hell.
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