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About Varied / Professional Member SchizmaticMale/United States Recent Activity
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Personal Technology by schizmatic
Personal Technology
The daguerreotype was introduced in 1839 as the first public photo technology, and people had to stay still for up to twenty minutes to prevent blurring. That's why you rarely see people smiling in early pictures. It's hard to hold a steady smile for that long -- let alone, a boner.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/personal_… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/788

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Schooled You by schizmatic
Schooled You
No, joke's on you, College: you took my PARENTS' money -- NOT mine -- to give me a culturally enlightening, emotionally deepening, eternally life-enriching education.

Chumps.

Image: schizmatic.com/files/schooled_… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/786

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Dinocologist by schizmatic
Dinocologist
Dinocologist: "WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP TRYING TO EAT ME, MS. REX?! HOW CAN I POSSIBLY CONDUCT A PROPER PAP SMEAR IF YOU WON'T LIE STILL IN THE STIRRUPS??!!"

Shirt versions of this strip: www.zazzle.com/dinocologist_me… (Men's) and www.zazzle.com/dinocologist_wo… (Women's)

Image: schizmatic.com/files/dinocolog… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/785

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Domestic Dispute Club by schizmatic
Domestic Dispute Club
The first rule of Domestic Dispute Club: Do not talk about Domestic Dispute Club in the presence of family, friends, coworkers, strangers, law enforcement officers, or judicial officials.

And not in the car while I'm driving! We'll talk about it when we get home, OK??

Image: schizmatic.com/files/domestic_… Page: schizmatic.com/comics/784

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So, I've been spamtastically posting five strips a day to catch up with a backlog I had, and to avoid potential weirdness like people wondering why I'm still doing comic strips about the Olympics at the end of September:

"Wow, did he just get around to watching it on his DVR?  It must've been tough avoiding all the Michael Phelps spoilers everywhere..."

But now I can slow it down to posting a strip a day, and eventually settle in to four a week.  Though, I have to admit, speed-watching the Olympics on DVR fast-forward does sound pretty interesting: the marathon would become a long-distance sprint, and the 100-meter dash a race of superheroes.

Still, even in normal speed, Usain Bolt might be able to give the Flash a run for his money.

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schizmatic
Schizmatic
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
Schizmatic is a webcomic of intelligent weirdness based on blueprint schematics applied to actual life. It puts the cosmos under a microscope, and reality under analysis -- goodness knows it needs it.
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:iconcomet-frog:
Comet-frog Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the watch ^^ much appreciated
Reply
:iconoriginalspaceduck:
originalspaceduck Featured By Owner May 10, 2015
Happy birthday dewd!
Reply
:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thx, duck dewd!
Reply
:iconaleayo:
Aleayo Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday, pal!
continue your wismiscally schizmatically weirdness in bluechitectural cartesian compactness!
emoB10 

(so sorry I did'nt had time to draw a card)
Emo15-0 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thx, Aleayo! So glad I'm not a mom, or I'd have to have two me-days on the same day! Emo8 
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:iconentirelybonkers:
EntirelyBonkers Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Student Writer
Thank you for the watch and happy birthday~!
Reply
:iconarmygeneral13:
Armygeneral13 Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It's your birthday today? Well happy Birthday.
Reply
:iconlouis-the-hedgehog:
Louis-the-Hedgehog Featured By Owner May 10, 2015
I'd donate but I'm short, for now.
Reply
:iconbenmonster2000:
BENmonster2000 Featured By Owner May 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey buddy~
Happy early-by-a-day Bithday~!
U mad, phone? 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner May 10, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thx! :D
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