Believe Your Own Skype

There are over half a billion Skype users, so the number of parrots in the air at any one time might be a problem for my version. The endless flocks of mynas, African Greys, and Budgies would disrupt other air traffic, trigger international military incidents, and even create catastrophic weather patterns with all their happy flapping.

The ever-growing bird swarm would ultimately block the sun's rays from reaching the earth, which might initially slow global warming, but inevitably plunge the whole planet into a savage Ice Age of eternal midnight ruled by lunacy and populated with subhuman abominations, all while a colossal bird-poop apocalypse smothered the world as the rampaging parrots wickedly mimicked our hellish shrieks and howls like unholy angels in a demonic chorus filling the undying night until finally succumbing under a vast evil sea of burning unfathomable blood...

But that doesn't even address the biggest problem of all: the response latency. Waiting a whole week just to hear if your dad liked the electronic dartboard you got him for his birthday? Absolutely intolerable.

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