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To Breed Or Not To Breed by schizmatic To Breed Or Not To Breed by schizmatic
"To breed, or not to breed? That is the conception." -- Hamlet II, Act 3, Scene 1

Image: schemantics.com/files/to_breed… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1029

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:iconashreila:
Ashreila Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Student General Artist
There's a reason we have birth control. So we can fuck without forethought!
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:iconunicycleofviolence:
unicycleofviolence Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I had strong feeling about this issue before I had a kid. Now I'm to tired to have strong feelings...
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2016  Professional General Artist
Don't worry: eventually you won't mind, when you lose all feeling entirely.
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:iconunicycleofviolence:
unicycleofviolence Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
"In married subjects, this has been observed to begin somewhere below the waist."

If you say it in a David Attenborough accent, this sounds super convincing.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2016  Professional General Artist
David Attenborough can make b.s. sound completely credible. He's probably a GREAT husband and father.
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:iconunicycleofviolence:
unicycleofviolence Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
His wife probably gets a little tired of the commentary.
"And here we see the domesticated sub-urban homosapien female providing sustenance to her brood."
"Not at the dinner table David. We've talked about this."
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2016  Professional General Artist
"I shall now cease further commentary so as to not disrupt any potential nocturnal mating behavior of the species..."
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:iconunicycleofviolence:
unicycleofviolence Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Say what you want about the man, but he's not stupid.
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:iconquantuminnovator:
QuantumInnovator Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2016
Not everyone is qualified to be a parent. However, Hollywood wants people to have as many kids as possible, because the younger you are, the more likely you are to enter a movie theater. A common Hollywood story thread is for people who hate children to either be vilified or transformed into child lovers by the end of the film. I would like to write a longer article about this in the future.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2016  Professional General Artist
Hollywood knows that parents control the purse strings, but kids control the parents. Especially crying kids.
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:iconjohn-martin:
John-Martin Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
The thing is that children learn from our reality, not from our ideals. So in their future they will reveal the truth about us to the world. Good reason to have none.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2016  Professional General Artist
The legacy we'll leave to our posterity is not having any to leave one to, but at least we won't have a posterity to worry about what they think of that.
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:iconthesckass20:
Thesckass20 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016
sometimes overpopulation cant be a problem, isn`t it?
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016  Professional General Artist
But overpopulation is NOT an excuse for killing your siblings. My parents taught me that very early.
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:iconboesemani:
boesemani Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016
Eh. They're completely expendable. We've got about 7 billion to replace 'em.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
Kids are pricelessly precious. It's not like they just naturally pop out of us with practically no effort at all -- oh, wait a second...
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:iconboesemani:
boesemani Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016
And the worst part is that they turn into teens.
Teens are horrible things. You could squeeze physical angst out of them like lemons.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016  Professional General Artist
And an even worse thing you can squeeze out of teens: zit filling. X}
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:iconboesemani:
boesemani Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016
Little do they know that zit filling is, in fact, angst.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016  Professional General Artist
So THAT'S why popping zits feels so satisfying... Finally, the science behind it!
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:iconboesemani:
boesemani Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2016
Good for both the popper and the poppee.
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:iconjeditoby:
jeditoby Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016
Hard to take over the world and establish a dynasty without offspring. But I understand the reluctance: why bother doing hard things when video games make doing everything virtually easy? Who needs that pressure?
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
If only someone could make collecting kids as fun as collecting Pokemon... Let's go, Nintendo!
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:iconel-fracasor:
El-Fracasor Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love the baby's smile! :love:
It looks like he/she's saying "F...you, I'm born and I'm fully not complying with those douchebags' requirement, heh-heh-heh :D"
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
Exactly, tho I hope the baby's first word won't be the F-bomb! XD
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:iconel-fracasor:
El-Fracasor Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It may be "Fudge you" ; that would make sense from a baby point of view as it has both a dirty and a food purpose :D
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
Ha, yes. Babies usually have potty-bottoms, not potty-mouths. X}
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:iconel-fracasor:
El-Fracasor Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't you mean "mouthy-bottoms" ?
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
Oh, when those mouthy-bottoms sound off, they can REALLY use foul language. :ew: 
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:iconel-fracasor:
El-Fracasor Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sure, this type of language is rather buzzy and when you hear it, this REALLY means business :faint:
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016  Professional General Artist
Yes, spewing the S-word from that end is far worse than the F-word. X}
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:iconapiapicka:
ApiApicka Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
There's too many humans already, so...
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
And the real problem is too many sub-humans and pseudo-humans.
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:iconmrtenso:
MrTenso Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016
I wait until self clonig will cheap.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
Clones are better than kids. You can save so much money on clothes and photos. X)
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:iconthewritingwz:
TheWritingWZ Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Next part: Deciding wether or not you want to work against the demographic change in your country for the sake of your own pension.

Theorethically this means in germany the more kids there are the more will later pay for your pension. Unfortunately theory does not always match with hard, practical reality of most people rather enjoying the small benifits they can have now instead of the greater ones they can get later. Same counts for everything else especiall including economy, debts and elections.

If something does realistically work can be quite harrowing irrelevant to the mass... But hey, at least everyone can have some extra money...
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
In America, we're already borrowing from the unborn to pay for elderly benefits. Pretty soon we'll be taxing the dead.
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:iconthewritingwz:
TheWritingWZ Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, the centuries to come... Well, I heard space has some riches...
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
Maybe we'll discover alien races in space -- and can start borrowing and taxing THEM. X)
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:iconkiborg-graph:
Kiborg-Graph Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nah, I've decided that I don't want to perpetuate the species. I simply see too damn little that's good about human beings, so yeah. :shrug:
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
That's a totally reasonable perspective. It's the sane, humane, non-violent way of ending the human race. X)
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:iconkiborg-graph:
Kiborg-Graph Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And what a good riddance will that be. Because ever since humans discovered oil, this world has been rapidly going to shit.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Professional General Artist
And too bad it's not the kind of shit we can use for natural gas to REPLACE oil.
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